Having visited www.match.com aphrodisiac café in Soho square, I started thinking about what makes a meal sexy! Sadly I’ve come to the conclusion it isn’t all about the food, it is about the experience. So herewith the collective wisdom of my friends and I:
- Bear in mind the reason for the meal – Ultimately, this is not an opportunity for you to challenge Marco Pierre White but to show the person you love that you care about them so think modest and tasty! Someone huddled in the corner of a kitchen sobbing over choux pastry is rarely sexy.
- Think about allergies and dislikes – Nothing kills a mood faster than anaphylactic shock or hives, it just isn’t very conducive so think about what they generally won’t eat and look out for hidden nasties. Having attempted to kill one of my friend’s girlfriends (now wife) by feeding her pesto bread (forgot about the pine nuts), I can testify that it is not great for the love life.
- A little planning goes a long way – While spontaneity is obviously great, a little planning (even if you don’t tell her/him) means you have what you need in the kitchen and you have the time to make it.
- Clean up as you go – When my ex used all the pans in the kitchen to cook spaghetti and even managed to cover the cat in pomodoro, my libido was not increased by having to clear up the mess and the moggy. We are no longer together but I blame his desire to be a samurai knight rather than his cooking ….. probably best to leave it at that.
- Set the scene – For some this may be candles, chocolates and fancy wine! But for others – and I’m thinking of those who are married with lots of hyperactive little people – it might be something as simple as getting the grandparents to baby sit or tidying up the lounge so your beloved can enjoy a guilt-free pre-dinner drink.
- Portion Size – Faced with a man-sized portion of pasta, my friend picked around the edges only to be asked if everything was okay. The food was lovely, the portion which was roughly enough to feed a small family was not. Also, too much heavy food tends to make me sleepy which again is a turn-off to most normal people.
- Drink in moderation – A little alcohol to loosen yourself up can be great for a fun night but falling asleep in your soup, being sick or declaring your undying love through choked sobs is unlikely to get you the end result you wanted.
- Make it your own – Some couples love a night with moonlight, candles and bubbles but to others a good movie, homemade pizza and beer is just as much fun. Don’t force it – just because you haven’t superheated your upstairs neighbours flat with the sheer power of the candles you are using – doesn’t mean that it won’t float your boats so to speak.
- It you can’ make it – fake it – While, everyone would love to be able to produce glorious crispy duck and pancakes, the run up to a romantic meal is not the moment to learn! So good cheats from M&S, Sainsbury’s or Waitrose are the way forward – you can hid the dishes if you want to as well!
- Be yourself but better – A seduction meal is not the time to discuss political differences, interrogate your date about their love life or tell them that you’ve always thought they had a fat bottom! The nice man who shared his thoughts on my derriere did qualify the statement by saying ‘but I like fat bottoms’ but sadly this did not result in what he was hoping for.
With this knowledge under your belt, go forth and seduce your other half
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